Review: Wallbanger by Alice Clayton

“I had a problem going to sleep because I was laughing a little too much to want to get any shut eye.  I just wanted to be reading it ALL the time.” ~Under the Covers

I’ve had my eye on this book for a while but never made the decision to get it until earlier this week when an author I love said they had read and liked it.  What do I do?  Go rush and buy it.  I started it that night and I had a problem going to sleep because I was laughing a little too much to want to get any shut eye.

So basically this story goes something like this.  Caroline moves into a new apartment that she has sublet from her boss.  Nice and settled in, she soon discovers that she shares a bedroom wall with the neighbor and that he has the habit of having sex with multiple women, there’s Spanx, Purina and Giggles, and when he does he likes to bang the walls.  Literally.  As in picture frames on her side of the room falling on her head type of wallbanging.  Simon, the Wallbanger, turns out to be her boss’s fiance friend and they formally meet at a social event and develop a true friendship.  That, along with the humor of the book, was my favorite part.  Simon and Caroline were perfect friends, so compatible, had a great time just hanging out together before things even got remotely sexual.  But the sexual chemistry was always there, the flirting was as well.  And then there were the baked goods…

I can honestly say this book had me laughing out loud and getting weird looks from people.  I just wanted to be reading it ALL the time.  I wouldn’t say it’s erotic or sexy, even though eventually there is sex.  The sex scenes were written in the same funny context as the rest of the story and lost some of the sex appeal, but they were no less entertaining to read.

WALLBANGER truly reads like a romantic comedy.  I would actually love to see this on the big screen, I think it would be a hit.  Caroline is a great heroine, she’s feisty but not overtly so.  She’s funny and just a girl you want to hang with.  But she’s still confident, even after she lost her ‘O’ after a bad one night stand.  And then, of course, there’s Simon.  *sigh*  He’s cultured, romantic, funny, he can cook and can appreciate good food.  He’s a photographer and takes the girl on trips!  He goes out of his way to establish a friendship because quite frankly he wants her.  OK, I have a bit of a crush here.

And then there’s something I found out after I was already 50% into the book.  This is actually a Twilight FanFic.  How in the world is that possible is beyond my comprehension.  Two characters more opposite than Bella and Edward could not exist.  And that’s a great thing because being in Caroline’s head during a big part of this book, I don’t think I could’ve handled it if it was Bella.  She would’ve been over-analyzing things and creating crazy problems in her head that didn’t exist, instead of just having a nice glass of wine and letting things roll.

Of course, we can’t forget about the secondary characters in the book, which were hilarious and amazing as well.  But aside from all the humans, the one I have to talk about is Caroline’s cat, Clive.  Boy, did that cat steal the show.  From falling in love with Purina and climbing the walls, to the time he attacked her and strutted his stuff in front of her and then when he peed on Simon’s shirt.  That cat is a rockstar!  Granted, not a rockstar I would ever want to live with, because the little shit would be back at the pound, but soooo entertaining to read.

I will be reading more by this author because, simply, I thought the writing was superb and the story was so entertaining that I need to know what else is going through Alice Clayon’s mind.

Favorite Quotes (some…)

“I moaned like a whore in church.
To be fair, I’d never actually heard a whore moan in church, but I had a feeling it sounded a lot like the unholy sounds pouring forth from my mouth.”

“I panted like a whore in church. The Church of Simon… where I was dying to kneel before him.”

“Hi, pot. It’s me, kettle,” Sophia snapped back
“Hi kettle, you have about thirty seconds before this pot kicks your ass.”

“The girl next door was meowing. What in the world was my neighbor packing to make that happen?”

“Have you seen this guy yet?”
“Nope. My peephole is getting a workout, though.”
“Glad to hear at least one hole is getting some action around here.”

“Sweet Lord, there were out-of-control pussies on both sides of this wall tonight.”

“Spanking Simon. What a great name for a band.”

“Relatively quiet, actually. Either he really listened to me and is being neighborly, or his dick finally broke off in one of them and he’s sought medical attention.”

“Now, you listen, mister.” I said, trying for a more adult tone. “I’m not going to spend every night listening to you try to crash your girl’s head through my wall with the force of your dick alone! No way, buddy.”

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[about-author author=”Alice Clayton”]