The Lucian Roman Shopping List
I enter the mall with a sneer.
Humans running around after their balas brats, pairs arguing about which store to enter first, males clutching their females purses.
Can’t leave.
Want to.
But can’t.
Thing is, I need shit. I’m setting up camp somewhere. Outside, under the trees, away from all things with two legs. Dammit, just that thought brings two of the hottest pairs of stems known to vampire kind into my addled brain. I should’ve had Alex drain all memories of that veana out of me. Bronwyn. She’s about to mate some unlucky bastard with an obvious penchant for crazy females.
And I’m getting the hell out of town.
Alex and Nicky say I’m running away from home, but they can kiss my albino ass. Both of those two fang fucks are neck deep in the love right now, and I’m chalking up their bullshit comment to brain damage and night and day screwing like rabbits.
So, I’m going into the woods.
I don’t know how long, but until this thing clears up. Could takes weeks, months..
I made a list of the shit I need.
*I‘m no pussy, and I don’t sleep all that much – but if I’m stuck in the wilderness and want to lie down, I’m doing it on 600 thread count.
Can never have too many of these. Yeah, I know. Trees. BITE ME.
Light, Black, and perfect for small predators.
Okay, I just came upon this in the front of some store. This thing is HOT. Going inside to ask if it can run on batteries.
Need my tunes and maybe Internet access. The store is too goddamn bright. My eyes are screaming. Ever hear of dimmers, cockoffs!
p.fucking.s. Massage Chair won’t run on batteries. Bastards.
You know, for things the Ninja Sword can’t get through. ie: bones, cartilage etc. Not sure if they’re going to have this here. I see they have some store called Coldwater Creek. I’ll check there.
Military issue or North Face? And those motorcycle boots – wrap ‘em up! ***Yeah, I know I’m going into wilderness! So the fuck what?
I don’t eat, but that shit smells good!
p.fucking.s. Colderwater Creek was not what I thought it was. Nuff said.
Shit, have you seen this thing? I think I have a hard on! Total must have. If only for chopping down a tree or two – maybe I’ll make my own papertowels! Take that, greenies!
Goddamn this store.
There’s a photograph of a female in the window wearing some bra and panties shit. She looks a little like She-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named – only not even as close to as beautiful.
Where do I get me a date?
The only way to forget one female is to suck vein with another. Right? RIGHT?
Goddamit.
Goddamn that female.
I take off. Run at top speed to the exit and crash through the glass doors.
Humans are watching me, terrified. Balas are watching me, impressed. This is bullshit. The shopping, the woods – not stopping in the arcade for a second to play Mortal Combat. I’m not running away from her, and from HIM. I growl and then I grin. No…no running. Not yet. Not until I get my blood back.
She owes me.
And if HE tries to stop me, his piece of shit blood will just be a motherfucking bonus.
Want to read more about Lucian?
Since feeding her his blood, Lucian Roman has struggled with his obsession with Bronwyn Kettler-fighting an uncontrollable desire to kill her, if he has to, and the vampire she has sworn to wed. But when a dangerous enemy threatens Bronwyn, only Lucian can save her life. Even if it means sacrificing his own…
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HHAHAHHA, great story! I like the goddamn the female part. The picture was so apt!XD Anyway, thanks for another great giveaway!
Absolutely love this. Had me chuckling…fav part p.fucking s. LMAO!!!
Another series I haven’t read *hangs head in shame..again* Going to add it to my tbr for sure 🙂
Have Lucian’s book pre-ordered and can’t wait to read it!!
^^ i loved this post thank you a lot
and a big thanks for this so great giveaway
all the best
Have it reordered. Loved reading the trip to mall.
How can you not just obsess about Luca? This talented lady is the reason I book blog. I was just so overwhelmed by her wonderful characters I had to tell people. Luca has been my boy from day ONE! All that pale snark and attitude….lord have mercy.
Great post. I went and pre-ordered Eternal Captive. Can’t wait to read it and find out what happens.
e.balinski(at)att(dot)net
HOLY SMOKES!!! Why have I NEVER read anything by her before. UTC you are opening my eyes to so many new paranormal authors. How many books are in the series?
After this post I want to read them NOW…which screws the hell out of my To Be Reviewed schedule =)
Thanks for a great post and giveaway! Haven’t had a chance to read this author, and I really want to 🙂
Not entering b/c I’m already getting it, but had to comment! So effing funny! ‘Maybe I’ll make my own paper towels’. Haaaa!
Great post and the cover is awesome. Thanks for the chance.
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What a great way to present a character! Love him already.
Thanks for this – put a smile on my face this morning!
Love the post, cracking up over the massage chair does not run on batteries LOL! That drawing of the chick has to be based on Natalie Portman (very Black Swan-ish). Thank you for the giveaway, I will definitely have to add these books to my tbr list!
haha Love Lucian’s attitude and can’t wait to read the book.
What a fun blog! Laura Wright is a new to me author. I discovered her books on a bookmark I got when I won some swag. I haven’t read any of her books yet but they are next in line on my books to buy list.
LOL..Great post,I enjoyed reading it.Looking forward to reading this book.
You got me hooked. I seriously want to read more
ROFL!! Too funny…LOVED this post! I haven’t read this series…but SOOOO want to! It’s on my list! Thx for the chuckle…I needed it! Now…if I could just win those books… 😀
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I am dying for this book!!! That was hysterical…poor Luca!
Loved it crazy good godd I cant wait for Luca’s book
That was AWESOME!!!!!!
Loved this! Does the massage chair work on batteries? Hilarious!
I sure hope I win! This boOk sounds awesome!:)
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This was such a great story! Great trip to the mall. And it definitely made me wanna read the books!
I don’t eat, but that shit smells good!
p.fucking.s. Colderwater Creek was not what I thought it was. Nuff said.
BEST LINES! LOVED IT!
I’ve been following the little snippets Laura’s been posting on facebook…hott damn is all I’m going to say!
That was fantastic!!! I haven’t read this author yet. I’ll be adding it to my reads list. Thank you for the awesome giveaway! DeAnna Schultz
Loved the post, very entertaining. I’m looking forward to reading this series, and love those hunky covers.
havent had the opportunity to read these yet, but sounds great. Love the interview…thanks for the giveaway!!!!
That was too funny. I’m so going to love reading Lucia’s book :).
can’t wait to read this
I just found a new author, Laura Wright. I’ll be checking out her books. Thanks for sharing so I could find her.
luvfuzzzeeefaces at yahoo dot com
Lucian has great taste in weapons I’d love to have the Full Tang Ninja Sword and the Iron Reaver Finger Claw-Blackend!!!! I thoroughly enjoyed this Author Override Lucian is quite something, I was chuckling throughout plus I got a new insult ” cockoff” I will most certainly be using at some point in the very near future!!!
This post had me smiling. Really makes me want to read this series. 🙂
OMG, that was fabulous! Now I really want to read about Lucian! I like his attitude 😉
Oh my what an array of items on his shopping trip !! I tend to agree if you cant have one sexy woman then suck on anothers lol !!!
Great post ! what a hoot !!!!
have Luciens book pre ordered 😉 cant wait !!
great giveaway !! will spread the love !
kat
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OMG! I cannot wait to read this series!
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If I get that chair, Luca is more than welcome to come visit! He can even make his own paper towels from my trees! lol
I laugh alot! I really can imagine him there!!
Thank you for the giveaway and the good times:)
LOL!! I can imagine the look on my family’s face if I ask for #4 when we go camping. Love the cover of the book!
Hi! I heard a lot of good things about this series! I would love to try it 😛 Nice post BTW, great story, funny! Thanks for this giveaway!
proserpinecravedfor(at)hotmail(dot)com
That was hilarious! (p. fucking. s. lol) This series has never been on my radar before, but now it’s near the top of my shopping list!
elizabeth @ bookattict . com
Absolutely Hilarious! Loved it!!!
I like the look of this series – it will fit into my 2012 goal of reading more paranormals!
sallans d at yahoo dot com
I feel like such a bad person. The poor guy is feeling so terrible and all I could do was laugh.
Thanks for the excerpt and giveaway opportunity.
Luca’s going to need holsters for the battle axe and the iron reaver finger claw (was he watching InuYasha?).
LOL!
I can’t believe I’ve never read this series. Bad, bad me. 😛
Thanks for the giveaway chance. I love the covers.
Am I evil to admit that I am reading Lucian’s book right as we speak? Muahahahaha. Sorry had too. Loving it so far!
Thanks for the giveaway, I’ll be standing in line to buy it, because next day shipping isnt fast enough
Loved this!!!! I so want to use p.fucking.s. LOL Thanks for the chance. They sound amazing!
sariahwalters at gmail dot com
OMG Lucian is to freaking funny!! I just loved his shopping trip tot he mall. I have read the first 2 books and they were awesome. Can’t wait to read Lucian’s!! Thanks for having this giveaway.
kandj7299 at verizon do net
I love Laura Wright!
I would love to read this series!!! Thanks so much!
-Amber
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That cover looks yummy…and so does that pretzel 😀
LOL…that shit was hot, and funny. God I love this site!!
for those of you that are interested there is a novella called Eternal Blood that goes to this series. Came out Janaury 3, 2012 in ebook only. And Eternal Beast is next. Just FYI!
Loved this!! Favorite part…chopping down a few trees to make paper towels! LOL
Thanks for the laughs & the chance to win such a great giveaway! I’ve read Laura Wright’s books in ebook format…devoured them actually…but I’d love to have signed copies for my Keeper Shelf! 🙂
That was a hilarious trip to the mall!! I would love to win these books they are next on my TBR list!! Good luck to everyone!! inkbella77(at)gmail(dot)com
Can’t wait for Luca!!!
Love it lol thanks for give away 🙂
I LOVE this series (and this funny trip to the mall) Laura,… you are the best!!!!!!!
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So looking forward to reading these! Thanks for the giveway!
Can’t wait for Lucian’s book!
so can’t wait for this book. Looks amazing
Absolutely Love Lucian!! Excellent Blog post, hysterical! 🙂
Great interview! I NEED to read this!
robindpdx(at)yahoo(dot)com
This series is already on my TBR list and I would love to read it. I was laughing so much when reading this *G*.
Hi, i think that i saw you visited my site so i came to “return the favor”.I am attempting to find things to improve my site!I suppose its ok to use a few of your ideas!!
Carlisle Magic Nylon Kayak Paddle – Nylon Blades/Aluminum Shaft